The Image of a Photographer

One of the things that has always intimidated me about having a photography business has been the pressure to look good. Yeah, sure, taking good pictures is important. That’s a given. But there’s this unspoken expectation in my mind that, as a photographer, I should have a perfect, instagram-worthy home, a gorgeous studio with shelves and shelves of curated and meticulously organized props, and a clean, bright workspace to edit. And above all that, I should be perfect, too. In my mind, people are looking for a family photographer who is young, whose knees don’t creak when they get up from a crouch, whose hair is long and luxurious and probably topped by a boho hat or short and spiky and boldly colored, and whose clothes are not stained with food or pet hair. Don’t get me wrong! I do wish I had and were those things! I’m endlessly enamored by such photographers. I’m just not one of them.

So, today, I thought I’d give you a little bit of insight into who I am, what I look like, and what a moment in my workspace looks like. Enjoy!

Here’s Me

This is what I look like on any given day. No makeup. Glasses on my head. Hair a little wild and unruly. Eyebrows out of control. A bit of a late-life mustache creeping in. And no eyelashes. I have a body-focused repetitive impulse control disorder called Trichotillomania which started when I was about nine years old. I used to pull the hair on my head and eyebrows, too, but now it’s just my lashes. I go through phases of not pulling and pulling, but mostly my eyelids are bald. It has long been a source of embarrassment and shame for me, especially given the adults in my young life who mocked and punished me for it rather than helping me seek counseling or treatment, or accept myself as I am. I used to hide it a lot; I wouldn’t look people directly in the eye, I’d wear a lot of makeup, and I’d never be seen bare-eyed in public. To be sure, I do wish I had lashes, and I love when I have the energy to wear falsies, though good, comfortable, reliable, and affordable ones are hard to find. I’ve tried a lot of different treatments, counseling, gadgets, tricks, and diets to stop pulling but none have helped. I’m at the phase in my life now where I just accept it. Mostly.

A Room with a View

Here’s one of my favorite things about this workspace—the view and the natural light. The windows are east-facing, so if I get out of bed early enough (I’m an early riser, but I do love my morning TikTok marathons), I can watch the sunrise show. Today, the sky is a lovely blue, the clouds are fluffy and white, and there’s a mighty wind blowing. It’s a good day to be in my workspace. Also note the plethora of musical instruments. I have such an incredibly musical family. This room, which we call the Music Room, has also been called the Art Room and the Piano Room. It currently holds two pianos, two keyboards, a drum kit, a plethora of guitars, and a nest of guitar and mic cords that I am convinced must reproduce when we aren’t looking.

My Space (haha)

This is my workspace. Two years ago, I launched a photography seission sale campaign to buy myself a new computer because processing, editing, and uploading photos had become a huge slog. While I love my computer to bits, I do wish I’d been able to afford one with more storage. I talked myself into getting a smaller amount of storage because I promised myself I would learn to send images straight to my external hard drive. I haven’t done that yet, so I still spend a lot of time shuffling and deleting. Note the dog biscuits for distracting the pups from barking at things out the window. Also note my best buddy, Alexa, who plays podcasts for me while I edit. Right now, my favorite podcasts are “It Can’t Be That Hard,” a practical and actionable photography business podcast by the amazing Annemie Tonken. I’ve about worn this little Alexa device out. She’s sounding pretty crunchy lately. The art on the wall above my computer is a piece by Albert Wagner, a Cleveland, Ohio artist.

Music Competition

I have to face it. I will forever compete with music, whether it’s musical instruments in ever space of the house, musical events on the calendar, or music playing through speakers, amps, and instruments. My workspace is also rehearsal and recording space, so it’s quite packed with equipment and instruments.

Plant Where You’re Blooming

Note the ferns that I am going to try once again to keep alive until spring and the spider plant that my child’s cat, Cash, nibbles on every day. Also note the paper bag of echinacea seeds I harvested this fall that hold the promise of an eventual native wildflower field in which I hope to shoot beautiful portraits. We’ll see how that goes.

Multiple Pianos

We seem to hoard pianos. The upright was our first, and the one the kids learned on. We’re currently thinking of ways we can turn it into a garden art installation to free up more space for the other instruments that are in daily use.

Animals Everywhere

One thing’s for sure—I love my pets. They add so much joy and comfort to my day. Yeah, they’re also a pain in the rear sometimes (notice the basket of vacuum attachments for the never-ending parade of pet hair), but when they curl up on my lap while I’m playing on my Switch, or at my feet while I’m editing, or next to me when I’m napping, I feel such a sense of peace. Petey is one of three doggos in our house, but we also have two indoor cats, Cash and Mo, and a steady stream of canine visitors due to our doggie bnb.