When Rock Bottom Becomes a Solid Foundation

It's been more than a year, so I think we can talk about it now, right? Twelve months have passed, and we're still alive, still paying our mortgage, still keeping the lights on. Heck, we're even enjoying the occasional pizza and stocking our fridge with soda. I wouldn't have thought that possible a year ago.

A year ago, I was pretty much in shock when I got the news. A call like that isn't something you quickly recover from. I'd like to say that my first reaction was gratefulness. No one was hurt. This wasn't a life-threatening thing. We'd had enough of that already, with a son nearly losing a battle to malaria 4,000 miles away from us in West Africa and a father facing significant carotid artery blockage as well as fairly aggressive prostate cancer.

Maybe because of those things, and because our finances were already pretty much a mess, and because we had three children at home, one in college, and one just venturing into an experimental intentional community formed by our church, maybe because Christmas was right around the corner, I immediately entered into a state of panic. We hadn't seen this coming. We were, to put it mildly, unprepared. My husband had, completely unexpectedly and with no recourse, lost his job. It was a blow to both our egos and our budget, and we were reeling from the reality of it.

Now, here we are, a year later, and we're still alive. And better yet, we're thriving. Thriving! Can you believe it?

Because, the truth is, my husband needed to lose that job, but he never would have left it. He was miserable there, but he felt trapped and completely without choice. We were both unhappy, because our evenings were absorbed by hours of decompressing, and I was helpless to do anything about his daily dysfunctional work environment and passive-aggressive co-workers.

So, when the dust settled, and the smoke cleared, and the last paycheck had been spent on bills and groceries, we realized that everything was beyond our control, and we could either look at this as a terrible, unjust tragedy, or we could seize it for the opportunity it was. We wouldn't have chosen this road, but now, it was wide open before us.

We could do anything.

***

Twenty-eight year-old Joanne couldn't see herself as anything better than a failure. Her life had dealt her some serious blows, and she'd made some not-so-great choices. She'd lost her mother to disease, her marriage had ended, and she was raising her child on her own, with no income. Later, she would say that she had been “as poor as it is possible…without being homeless.” It was when she'd hit her lowest point, after she'd been diagnosed with clinical depression and had considered ending her life, that she determined she had nothing to lose; it was time to put everything into the thing she really loved but had always been afraid to pursue. She started writing.

"I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realized and I was still alive...and so rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

While on welfare support, Joanne completed her first novel, writing in the quiet spaces when her daughter was sleeping. She'd never published a thing but was determined to find a place for her work. After 12 rejections, a publishing house chairman's eight-year-old daughter had read Joanne's first chapter and insisted on having more. The chairman agreed to take on her book, but advised her to get a day job, because she couldn't possibly make a living with her writing.

He was wrong.

After receiving a sizable grant from an arts council, Joanne now had the discipline, the tools, and the support system to keep writing. Now, J.K. Rowling has completed seven of the best-selling children’s books of all time, the Harry Potter series, and is one of the most influential people in the world, partly because of the philanthropy that’s possible thanks to her net worth of more than $1 billion.

“Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way,” Rowling said in her 2008 Harvard commencement speech. “I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.”

***

It’s been a year since that last paycheck was spent, and while I haven’t quite reached a J.K. Rowling level of success, I did make the decision to pursue that niggling interest that had been constantly simmering on the back burner of the stove of my 42 year-old life. A serendipitous lunch meeting with a writer acquaintance who insisted on helping me summon a resume—ACCIO!—out of nothing, asking only that I pay it forward when I had the chance, and then practically disappearing —DELETRIUS!— into thin air, resulted in a freelance position writing feature stories for a group of local newspapers. Between my writing and editing, my husband’s music (he’ll have to write that story himself), and a lot of grace, we’re paying the bills, putting a little money in savings, and paying down the overwhelming debt we incurred when we (thought) we had a regular income.

I’ve learned that the key to overcoming writer’s block is writing. The key to getting published is writing. The key to defeating procrastination is, you guessed it, sitting down, facing that empty page, and scuffing it up with those first few words before the rest of them really start to flow. I’ve learned that my friends and support system are worth far more than rubies, offering me encouragement, financial support, story leads, and, when I feel that fear of failure looming around the corner like a Dementor, draining the peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around me, my friends offer me wisdom, advice and a shoulder to cry on.

Maybe you’ve just lost your job. Maybe you’ve been diagnosed with cancer. Maybe your marriage didn’t work out the way you planned. Maybe your lover left you broken-hearted. Maybe you’re dealing with clinical depression. Maybe you’ve even contemplated putting an end to this life, believing that you have no choices, no value, no future. But let me tell you this, let me assure you of these things: You have a strong will; You have more discipline than you suspect; Your true friends are worth more than rubies. The rock bottom you’ve hit can become a solid foundation onto which you can rebuild your life.

So, when the dust settles, and the smoke clears, and the last paycheck has been spent on bills and groceries, or beer and cigarettes, when you realize that everything is spinning way beyond your control, you can either look at this as a terrible, unjust tragedy, or you can seize it for the opportunity it is. You wouldn't have chosen this road, but now, it’s wide open before you.

You can do anything.